Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Take him back to the hospital

Me: So what do you think Oliver? Isn't he so cute?!

Oliver: I want you to take him back to the hospital.

Oh the dreaded reaction of an older brother coping with a new baby in the house. I worry a lot in general. I even take meds for it;-) This was something I spent a lot of time worrying over and hoping it didn't happen. I researched the internet and did everything "they" (whoever "they" are) said. I bought a gift for Oliver from his new brother Renny. I talked to him a lot about how much fun it will be having a brother. I took him to my ultrasound appointments and did anything I thought that would make the transition less stressful and more exciting. Well as it would play out, Oliver was not in the least bit excited. All of my thought out plans of introducing him to Renny and being the first to spend time with him and being the first to meet him went to crap.

Renny swallowed meconium and had to stay a week in the special care nursery because of his breathing and oxygen levels. Not only that he had three heart murmurs. As a result, he was not aloud to be in the room with me and Oliver could not hold him. All the bonding that I had invisioned for them in my head didn't happen.
To add to the complexity of it all, 2 weeks later he was diagnosed with GERD. He cried all the time for 3 long months. Talk about pain. My poor little guy had been through the ringer in his short 12 weeks of life. To watch your child in pain and be powerless to stop it is heart-wrenching. I knew God would get us through it though... and He did.
I couldn't blame Oliver for wishing he wasn't there. Why would he be excited about this new baby who stole his attention and did nothing but cry all the time? In his eyes he got a rotten deal. It didn't last forever though. Now Oliver can't imagine his life before his brother. They are best pals. It is so wonderful to see them playing together, hugging eachother and giving eachother kisses. Renny is just learning how to really talk and Oliver asks him to repeat random words all the time (today's favorite was gas station). It is so cute. Earlier today I sat on the deck listening to them on their swingset laughing hysterically together. It made my heart melt. I just stood there like the cheshire cat thinking how I wish these days would last forever.
Before I know it they will be grown and the house will be empty. I pray that I will slow my life down and take in all the moments I have with them. I pray I will be a good mother to them and they will look back and have loving memories of growing up in our home. Most importantly I pray I make our time together count.


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