No more chocolate

Shawn told the boys not to eat anymore chocolate...

"But chocolate makes our weenies grow bigger, they're so widdle."

I never knew that about chocolate! He's such a ham=-)

Old Navy commercial

"Mommy! They're baaack. One dollar flip flops!"-Oliver

He reminds me of all the sales he sees on t.v.!

SpongeBob

"What the barnacles!"- Renny

This is a common statement from my 2 year old lately.

You got married?

"Look over there Oliver! That's where we got married!"-Renny

Not sure what he meant by that!

Bunk beds

The boys are getting bunk beds and they are pretty excited about it.

"I'm going to sleep on the top so I can see the moon."-Renny

Boys and praying

I love listening to my boys pray. Shawn and I encourage them to pray before they eat.

Renny will put his head down, fold his little hands and mumble for about two minutes. It is so precious=-)

Butt Paste for mommy

Most moms know what butt paste is. If you don't, it's diaper rash cream.

"Mommy, get your butt out so I can put this butt paste on you so it's nice and clean."-Renny

What's he talking about?

I invited my friend over who has two little boys around the same age as Oliver and Renny. I fixed them lunch and we were all at the table...

"One time, my mom farted on the refrigerator!"- Renny

This was followed by 4 kids laughing hysterically. It was pretty funny=-)

Can you eat more then me?

Oliver- "Renny can you eat more then me because your belly's bigger?"

Renny- "yup."

These boys are too much, lol.

I'm so cute

"Mommy, I need a hug because you're so cute!"- Oliver

Hotdogs... no thank you.

I hate hotdogs... I will only eat them if they are burnt on the grill and the only thing you can taste is charcoal. They have to be THAT done...

"Mommy you don't like hotdogs? You're such a girl!"- Oliver

It's ok

Oliver bumped his arm on a chair outside...

It's ok mommy, I don't need a cast."

Jesus and diapers

My boys love to go to church. We talk about Jesus a lot in our house and try our best to raise them up knowing who He is.

We have never had this conversation though...

Renny- "When I go to church, I'm gonna have Jesus change my diaper."

Followed by Oliver...

"Do you think Jesus wears a diaper or underwear?"

Interesting conversation when you talk about potty training at church=-)

Not the broken chips

I got some cuddle time with Renny on the couch. We were staying up watching cartoons and snacking on chips and salsa. He kept picking through the bag trying not to pick the broken chips.

He insisted they hurt his back.

Yeah, I snore

I tucked the boys in for bed and fell asleep next to Oliver...

"Mommy, can you please not snore so loud?"

Pool time

Shawn, Oliver, Renny and I were swimming in the pool. All of a sudden my side started hurting (bad). A sweat bee got me. I freaked out and tore my top off because I was afraid it was in my bathing suit.

Leave it to Oliver to say...

"Now come over here and show me your boobies."

Oliver... you can't just go around saying that!

I'm Awesome

Oliver woke me up in the morning. I opened my eyes and saw his little face nose to nose...

"Mommy did I ever tell you how awesome you are?"

Shat Sat

"Mommy, I just shat (sat) on your phone."- Oliver

Shat, sat, same difference.

Oh no

Oliver gave himself a wedgie, turned around and laughed....

"Do my underwears look like yours?"

I think I need to start locking my door.

Lego Master

Oliver is great at building legos. He LOVES legos...border line obscessed=-)

"Mommy, do you wish you could build a fire truck as good as me? Well, don't worry I still think you're doing great!"

Thanks little man.

Funny bone

Renny started crying after he hit his elbow. I picked him up and gave him a hug.

Me- "Ouch Renny, did you hit your funny bone?"

Renny (crying)- "No, I hit my sad bone."

Chemicals

I was cleaning the toilet when Renny ran out of the bathroom yelling...

"Ahhhhhh I'm scared of chemicals!"

Not sure where that phobia came from. 

It's not a plant

Renny was in the bathtub...

"I'm pouring water on my worm so it will grow big like daddy's."

Ummm... lol

Wonders of the eyeballs

The other day Oliver asked me how eyes work. I told him our brains tell our eyes what to do. Our brains are kind of like computers...

"So, if my brain ran out of batteries and died, my eyes wouldn't see anymore?"

Hmm... pretty much! He thinks far beyond the age of a four year old.

Why are you doing that?

Oliver has been randomly licking my arm.

He's not even pretending to be a dog! 

Monster Trucks

Renny says to Oliver...

" When I tell you to look at that monster truck, you say 'oh mamasita!'"

Notice Renny likes to "tell" people=-)

Hugs and Kisses

"Now come over here and give me a hug and a kiss!"- Oliver

Don't mind if I do.

You're so tall!

"Mommy you're so tall! You must be a hundred years old!"- Oliver

Boy do I feel like it!

I used to be

"Mommy, you used to be a baby? And I used to be a mama!"-Renny

New job

I finally got a new job! I won't be working this dreaded 3rd shift anymore.

When I told Renny he started clapping and yelling, "yaaaaay!"

A Hundred Years

"If I peed in my underwear for a hundred years, would they hang to the ground?"-Oliver

He told me!

"I told you to get me chocolate milk."-Renny

This is actually a request not a demand=-)

I love you

We are eating dinner at the table when Oliver leans over to tell me...

"I'm farting. My butt is telling you something. It's saying 'I love you!'"

Great job!

Oliver- "Wow Renny, you ate all your food? Great job pickles!"

Whatever this means

I'm not sure what this means but according to Renny I'm a "bombshakies!"

Pool Party

"Does a pool party mean people are in the pool and they sing?"- Oliver

Can you imagine this? This is so funny to me! I heart him=-)

Clean freak

I love for my house to be clean. Although it feels impossible to keep up with all of the time I do try my best to have it somewhat presentable. Comments like these make me feel good=)

Oliver- "Mommy, I'm really glad you're not vacuuming again."

See Shawn...I do clean more than you think=-)

Pampered by a two year old

After working a long night at work Renny came into my room and told me to go back to bed and to put my blankets on. Then he insisted I brush my teeth so he put toothpaste on the toothbrush and handed it to me.

He takes such good care of me!

Too smart

Renny's aunt asked him if he was aloud to have his dirty truck on the table and he said, "but daddy isn't here."

Renny's what?!

"Daddy you better hurry up and get in here! Renny took his diaper off and he's shitting (sitting) in your chair!"-Oliver

Job

After checking out at the grocery store, Oliver said, "mommy you should work here for your job because the people give you money!"

Make believe

Renny- "Mommy, you be a dragon and I be a people."

TBall

Oliver started playing tball this year. He comes down the stairs dressed for his game and says, "Do I look cuter then I usually do?"

Farts

I took the boys to eat at Chick-fil-a when Renny runs from the playground to our table and announced (loudly), "I FARTED!"

Whoa Son!

Renny says to Oliver: "whoa whoa whoa son."

Oliver: "whoa, I am NOT your son!"

Oliver's new song

I'm not sure what to think of Oliver's new song, "back seat bootie."

Obsession of a two year old

This child is obscessed with car keys. If you have keys, he will be your best friend.

Renny woke up in the middle of the night crying for my keys. This can't start already, you're only two!

Learning ants

I was explaining to Oliver that the queen ant in a colony has small white wings.

"Does she wear a crown?"

I wish I could freeze this age...

Hey Jack!

Shawn said to Renny, "hey jack!"

Renny- "I am NOT a JACK!"

What kind of sandwich?

Thanks Ninja Turtles! Because of you, my boys love to say, "it smells like a butt sandwich."

All. The. Time.

Oh yeah, I'm the best!

"I love you mommy, you're the sweetest and best mommy I ever had."- Oliver

Come Here

Renny will tell me... "Come here, I hold you."

That's old!

Oliver asked me, "If daddy lives til he's a thousand, will he be as old as pappy?"

No good

According to Oliver, Renny is a "no good diaper dictator."

God is Love

I was laying in bed trying to get some sleep after a long night at work when I heard Renny singing in the other room.

"The Bible says, the Bible says..." (God is love)

All Chickens go to Heaven

We are raising chickens and something got to them and slaughtered them. I think my dog may have been framed by a fox but I can't be certain.

Oliver was sitting at the dinner table in deep thought.

"Do you think the chickens are with Jesus now?"

Oh Nuts

The defining moment of my parenthood boiled down to Renny kneeling in front of a bunch of strangers saying, "my nuts, my nuts."